You've lost

FYI, this post will be a draggy, wordy and emotional one
if u can't take it pls don't continue reading

so here i starts everything
i think people around me will not feel anything wrong about me
but in the deepest end of my heart, i'm broke and lost
"WHAT'S NEXT?" i asked
GOD! What's the next path that you had plan for me to walk on?
It is about 1 yr ago since a thing like this happen
last year, in end of sept,
my mum burned my bible...
and this year,
she went to "create" problem to people around me
when she speaks,
i feels it was satan who was speaking to me
being accused, criticise etcs
these are all works of satan
i feel that i'm like in the wilderness
when Jesus was tempted by the devil
a year ago, he tries to do similar things
and somehow i fall into the trap
after tt incident, (maybe many does not know)
i start to hide myself inside a speacial box
that even when i tries to comes out, i can't
but now,
i tries to come out of this box,
i succeeded.
i have my head and body out
but someone else in the box tries to pulls me back
BUT!
this time round i did not let the stength of tt someone to pulls me back
i tried my best to come out of it
i know that all these are in the will of God
i'm willing to go through this
When God gave the permission to tt ugly satan,
he will protect me in a way
i have faith in Him
He is my KING of KINGS and LORD of LORDS
althought i feel so down because the person who accused
my church, my pastors, my zs, my cg leader, my God and me is my mum

i'm still proud and happy for myself
coz i'm now walking close with God
even when she hit me on my left
i gave her my right
coz my almighty Lord says in the bible
"whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also"

GOD! i think i've what you had taught me
now, i'm perpared for more
if there are more things that you have plan for me
i'm not worry, coz i have YOU in my life
in the name of JESUS all things shall be brought to past

i sing to you:
"Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from earth into Eternity"

You are my God now and forever..
never will i be away from You
my everything is Yours

even in my lowest point of time

i will hear only Your voice

only when i'm with You,
my knees will bow
my tongue will confess
only when i'm with You,
i'm no longer alone
i'm no longer afraid
coz i have you in my life

this is what i want You to know
my love for You will go on and on....

with love
Cyra. 자헤